Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage

Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage

Published in 1979

Wikipedia - and trust me, you need it.

First off, this was actually a suggestion, so I am supposed to thank Tommy Clark for suggesting it.  I say I am supposed to, but I am still reeling from listening to this thing.  

WHAT THE FUCK, FRANK ZAPPA?

Okay, now that my confusion has been expressed, let me give you some opinions.  You know why rock operas are so incredibly obscure and strange?  It's because they are by nature subversive and strange.  Instead of recognizing this and trying to formulate a regular thing around this, Mr. Zappa has chosen to take it to the other extreme, and just go fucking crazy with it.

This is the first album on the album project to do various things, allow me to list them, so you can be baffled if you haven't heard it.

• Wet t-shirt contest dedicated song
• Incredibly diverse mentions of VD
• Appliance Sex
• Dystopian future where music is banned (rock opera edition)
• "Subtle" allusions to Scientology
• Detailed Appliance Sex Music
• The fact that to have sex with appliances, you need to speak another language
• Catholic Girls are whores
• "Gimmie that, gimmie that, Bloooowwwjob."
• Breaking the fourth wall, referring to "two songs ago"
• And much much more.

Seriously.  I'm not making one of those up, and I am amazed that I don't think that I could.  It's like an album that was designed to completely fry your logical brain.

However, the non rational side of your brain is going to be fucking loving this shit.  It's incredibly fucking strange, but beautiful and strange as shit.  It is entirely non commercial, but it's fucking awesome.

You know what it is, it's the Aqua Teen Hunger Force of rock operas.  It's obviously written while people were on fucking insane amounts of drugs.  It has no recognizable structure.  The acts are delineated by who the fuck knows what, and the resolution is crazy as the rest of it.

I'd never really listened to Frank Zappa in any capacity before, so this was a... something... experience for me.  I don't believe that, even if I started doing drugs today, I will have ever done enough drugs in my life to fully understand what is going on in his mind.  The writing is fucking insane, not in a bad way, but in a incomprehensibly amazing way.

Seriously.

However, if you listened to it just for the music, there are some real amazing bits in there.  Mainly the parts between the weird fucking shit.  However, even the weird shit is pretty musical.  It's about 50 - 50 amazing music - fucking insanity.

So yeah, you should listen to this album.  It's an  assault on everything in the world, and it's amazing for it.  If you didn't listen to it once, I'd be surprised, because what are you, some kind of coward?  Cowards don't read the Album Project, now go out there and get crazy.

Well, thanks to Tommy for the robot fuckingest album I have ever heard.  You're out of your damn mind, and I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Since this is the ATHF of music,

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I've been a bad host, would you guys like some juice?"

Matt

PS. GIVE PHIL FIVE, OR DIE!

The B-52s - The B-52's

The B-52s - The B-52's

Published 1979

Wikipedia

I love my mom.

I could end this whole post right here, and she'd know exactly what I was going to say in the next parts, but I won't.  I won't because I love you, other people than my mom.

If you know my mom, you know exactly how awesome she is.  And I expect the comments to be all about how awesome my mom is.  If you don't know my mom, you should get to know me better, so maybe - MAYBE - I'll introduce you.

The reason I bring up how much I love my mom and how awesome my mom is because this is one of our favorite albums to listen to together.  So, this post is going out to my mom.  I'm half a world away, but I'm still fucking psyched to hear 'There is a moon in the sky, it's called the moon" and know that if you were hearing it at the same time, you'd be going crazy.  You didn't pick this album, but you gave birth to me, and that has to count for all of my good actions.  So this one is for you Berla, and thank you for getting me into the B-52s.  Oh, and KC and the Sunshine Band is going on the list too.

I think you can already tell that I love this album, but it wasn't until recently that I figured out why I love this album.  From an early age, I was conditioned to like things that were Ironic, and slightly sarcastic, but loved the things that they were mocking.  This was conditioned into me by my favorite, and second best TV show ever, Mystery Science Theater 3000, my family's sense of humor (which is Irony bathed in Sarcasm, wrapped in a incredible amount of rage burrito) and the B-52s.  I think that one of the greatest compliments that I can give to the B-52s is that you have heard every song on this album before, and you have never heard anything like it ever in your life before.  It's every 1960's Scifi/Beach Themed/Monster Movie/Party song given a completely new treatment.  From the first song's intro you should be entranced in this fucking crazy world that they live in.

Mystery Science Theater really is the perfect vehicle for talking about this album.  One of the reasons that I never got into Cheap Seats, or even Rifftrax as much as I got into MST3K is because there was something sweet and innocent about the mocking that they did on MST3K.  I don't mean that it wasn't biting, and interesting, and very smart, but it was obvious that they had such a great appreciation for terrible, bad movies, that they subjected themselves to multiple watchings, and they loved the idea of just inviting you into their world with them for two hours.  I swear, nothing on that show was done out of any sort of actual outrage, but because they loved the idea of those movies so much.  The B-52s do the same thing with the music.  It's surf rock/scifi goodness.  The lyrics are crazy and out there.  The music is repetitive and fun.  It's music that you just want to get up and dance to.  They put so much time in lovingly crafting these tributes to these weird musical forms that only existed for a second, and just fucking nail them every time.

"Why don't you dance with me? I'm not no limburger!"  If that doesn't make you giggle a bit, you need to loosen up a bit.  I really want to tell you that you shouldn't even be reading this if you haven't experienced the album for yourself.  The vocals are off the charts good.  Across the board, they are constantly making interesting weird sounds, making up words, playing around.  It's a brilliant, awesome album.  The music is simple, but if you've ever seen Horror at Party Beach, a personal favorite, you know how simple the music they are giving tribute to.

I've been doing a lot of listing of classics on here in the past few days.  I already listed the classics for this album when I posted the wikipedia.  Every single track is driving and just totally different.  You need to hear this album, putting it squarely in the non optional category.  "Rock Lobster" the greatest 60's horror movie never made, "Hot Lava" the best song to ever have "knock you in the head, kick you in the head" as a lyric in a love song, "Planet  Claire".  Even their cover of "Downtown", in my opinion, should be known as the definitive version, just because they do it in the most broken down, weird way possible.

I don't really know what else to say.  If you don't love this album, you have a serious neurological disorder.  It's so fucking campy and weird and great, that it's hard for me to even think that there might be someone who doesn't like it out there.  But hey, some people don't like fun, and will preside over fun's funeral.  

Anyway, to wrap this up.  I love you and miss you Berla, and I hope you put this album on and enjoy it.  And when I get back to the states, we'll listen to it while we're driving somewhere, and scream about the moon in the sky, not being no limberger, a dogfish chased by a catfish, 6060-842, and the rest of these crazy lyrics.